My Wall

On the wall above my computer screen are several of the most important items in my life. At the top is the word Allah SWT written in Arabic. To me it also says God, the most high; Heavenly Father the master of my soul. This has been on a few of my walls, and is always higher than anything else there.

Next to it, but slightly lower is a passage from Psalm 43:1 Judge me oh God, and plead my cause … Anyone who has taken a stand for the right should know these words.

Below that is “The Lord’s Prayer”, and to the right it is in Arabic also.  Two lines in that prayer used to accuse me daily.  “And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us.” I could not obey that, and I knew that I could not go to Jennah (Heaven) until I did. It would be the continual encouragement, prayer, and love of Mormon Missionaries that would give me the will to try again. And in the end, it was nothing that I did, except for obedience that would cause God (Allah SWT), to remove the cancer of hate and vengeance from my dying soul. That surrender breathed new life into me.

Between those two pages hangs a picture of Jesus the Christ (Isa PBUH) knocking at a door. Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock …

Next to that is a machete given me as a gift from the people in Honduras I worked with on reconstruction after Hurricane Mitch. It is important to me because it can be a tool to construct or a weapon to kill. Mine is not bloodied. It is a symbol to me that in life, it is us who chose to build or destroy.

On the far left is a picture of a boy, perhaps 10 years of age, who is bloodied by some unrevealed wound. I cannot tell if he yet lives or has passed. Over him is a woman, his mother perhaps, who is covered in blood. Her white hijab is stained by his innocent blood. I can not look at it without my eyes brimming.

Along the bottom is a plaque that says, “Life is not about what you have, but who you are”. I can only strive to make that true in my own life.

On another sheet: The truth is: We hide because we want to be found. We walk away to see who will follow. We cry to see who will wipe away our tears. And we let our hearts get broken to see who will come and fix them.  (Author Unknown).

Next to it is a few sprigs of rosemary perhaps, tied with a purple ribbon. I can’t remember who gave them to me, but I know they wanted to show me love. I do hope that I returned that love.

To the right of that is a quote from the original Movie, “Dune”.  Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain”.

I remember that quote because the book “Dune” was one of the first things that caused me to search for God in a world that ignored him.

And, finally next to that is a map depicting one of the best Science Fiction stories I have ever followed. It is still being written and the chapters are published about monthly. I will urge the author to publish it in both “dead tree” and Kindle.

You may notice that there are no pictures of family.  Who is our family? What is most important?  For me since my life was gutted by nuclear fire, God (Allah SWT) is the center of my existence. 

At the bottom, there is a lighted globe. What that means to me is that I am a citizen of the world. I do not consider myself to be strictly American any longer, though I have done my bit to serve my country in spite of the fact that the actions of some of our leaders are absolutely despicable. I will do nothing treasonous against America.  May God have mercy on us?

I am a curious blend of Muslim and Mormon. No one accepts us completely except God. Some say that I must make a choice, that we must be one or another, that the two are mutually exclusive. Why should I trust the word of another human? The only thing I trust is what God has put into my heart.